There's a lot of argument on certain sites about the ordination of gay bishops in the Episcopal Church,and whether or not it is a sign of 'end times'.

Here, for what it is worth, is my response to some of the more outlandish freaks:

"Many writers on this topic have noted the assertion from Leviticus 18:22 that homosexuality is an abomination, and gone on to ask how can a Biblical Church ordain gay bishops.

The answer is very simple: many Christians accept the Bible as containing the Word of God, telling the life story of Jesus, and containing compelling moral guidelines, whilst also realising that they are reading a translation of a number of texts written by a number of different people between two and four thousand years ago.

Many Christians would emphasis that, for them, the importance of the Bible, is its information about the life of Christ. Many would point out that Jesus himself said he was making 'a new covenant', replacing all of the precepts of the Old Testament with two: "Love God with all your heart" and "Love thy neighbour as thyself". "There is no other commandment than these." (Mark 12: 28 - 31). Christians, in an acceptance of Christ, are forced to prefer his teachings to the Old testament laws when they come into conflict: the exhortations to 'turn the other cheek' are clearly not compatible with the OT's demand of 'an eye for an eye'. Otherwise there would have been a whole lot of cheek-slapping going on...

So, people have a nuanced, textured view of the Bible, recognising that no two translations are the same, and that the texts of which the Bible is made up are not necessarily the same as they always were. Are the Apocrypha just as much part of the Word of God as the accepted Bible? What about the books from the Nag Hammadi Library?

To conclude, let us look only at Chapter 11 of Leviticus. What other things does it consider an abomination? Eating of shellfish (11:10). By the logic that this is an abomination, God hates it, no bishop who intends to eat shellfish in the future should be ordained. God even hates lobster shells: "their carcasses you shall have in abomination." Odd that the God who made prawns should feel so strongly about them.

In verses 7 and 8 Leviticus clearly states that no one should touch the skin of a pig ("their carcasses you shall not touch"). Someone obviously forgot to tell Pope John Paul II, who, when playing soccer in Poland, must certainly have come into contact with the skin of the pig, or he would have been terrible at his position in goal.

If we take God at his word as revealed in Leviticus God hates gays about as much as he hates menstruating women (Leviticus 15:19) and Wilbur from Charlotte's Web (11:7).

Leviticus also states that we should atone adulterers to death (20:10). Thus, among those who should be stoned are such leaders as Jim Bakker, Rush Limbaugh and Newt Gingrich. Maybe Leviticus does get some things right...

Jesus, you may remember, actually intervened to stop an adulteress being stoned to death, saying: "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." He clearly disagreed with some of the teachings of the Old Testament, and said so explicitly.

That is how one can be a Christian, a Biblical Christian, and believe that the ordination of gay bishops is part of Jesus' challenge to us to love one another as ourselves, and his affirmation of the new covenant for all mankind."

Tee hee! This is immensely cool. Make your own little man dance with hordes of his online imaginary friends. Here's mine!

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That's it. The game's up. There's no more need for comedians. They are burning effigies of Jo from S Club 7 in Bangalore.

I like the new, surreal world we're living in...

(Right activity. Wrong reason.)

Today I had my wife scanned. I have spent the afternoon gazing misty-eyed at a grainy picture of the parasitic proto-human who seems to have established residence inside her.

Herbert Hoover said that children are our 'greatest natural asset'. I think he was suggesting that we melt them down for their valuable proteins...

  

Oh, those terrorists...

I hate politics. I hate blogs about politics even more.

However, you may have missed the story last Friday about how the police in Pendle foiled a massive terrorist plot. The largest haul ever made of bomb components was made, with seized materials including rocket launchers, chemicals, and a nuclear biological suit.

You may have missed it because it was reported by precisely zero national news outlets. Why was this? Why is the charging of terrorists being overlooked, precisely when we need to know most about them?

Maybe it's because they're not Muslims. Unfortunately, these were just BNP terrorists (one of whom stood for the local Council in the May elections). As we all know, white terrorists aren't news. They are disgruntled citizens who were a little overzealous.

Am I being too cynical?

Make your own mind up here.

My Lighthouse

For those I haven't pestered into hatred already, my play 'My Lighthouse' will be on Radio 2 on Thursday night (12th October). You can listen to it online, or through your radiogram set. It will be broadcast as part of Mark Radcliffe's programme between 10:30 and midnight.

Prime time, baby!

More information here.

Liveblogging some liveblogging

Yes, prepare yourself from some... META-LIVEBLOGGING of this!

10.59

Bored. Drunk. Wife is in bed. The choice is masturbating whilst watching Question Time or masturbating whilst reading people's blogs. Piers Morgan is on Question Time, I'll go to the blogs.

Stephen has the picture of him in the leather jacket up again. No masturbating tonight.

11.00

Stephen's fatuous prose style and smug ignoring of the fact that he campaigned for Labour in the 1997 election send me to the kitchen for more wine.

I decide to bring the box (yes, so?) back in with me to save any more walking.

11.12

Stephen agrees with Kenneth Clarke that Iraq is the 'biggest foreign policy disaster of the twentieth century'. Neither of them have realised we are living in the 21st century.

11.15

Stephen swears. I pour more wine.

11.20

Stephen again quotes Jenny Tonge. He must be the only person who can see her behind the flailing arms of Piers Morgan and Jack Straw. Or gives two fucks what she thinks. It's not only Lib Dem councillors who can swear.

11.24

Stephen rants. Maybe he's drunk, too.

11.32

I have succumbed (and succame all over the sofa) and have left comments. I have become tainted. End this.

11.40

No one is responding to my ever-more-witty and pertinent comments. Maybe they are all in bed.

11.59

Yes, they are all in bed. Stupid fucking Liberals.

Marsipan!

I made this

Or, more accurately, I made the voices and the words in this. Other, cleverer people made all of the other bits. Other bits such as making the whole thing work and all of the bits you can see.

Still, watch and be amused...